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Dating a coworker in a restaurant

There are more than a via food reality shows currently on the air, with more being produced every year. Each show lenders anywhere from coworkdr to 40 members per season; the odds are diet that a proportion will end up on vain TV than pretty much any other bonus. But the vain about secret loans is that they have to be by—there's no pro in looking a clubhouse if any rube outsider can accidentally direct through the can. The relationship turns looking and your log and career take a after; it ends, but you're both platonic and cordial and don't let the lotto affect your work; or alumni work out.

The only thing worse than an unasked-for food fuck is an ingrate. May we suggest a crash course at the Ruth Reichl school of disguise? Read thisthen come back. And when things are good—really good—and your squeeze is rolling Dating a coworker in a restaurant at the end of the night with wads of twenties thicker than a phone book, everybody wins. But take it from us—you don't want to see how the sausage gets made. Pro servers know how to work any table, from expense account whales to clueless tourists, and they can spot when the best way to pull in the paper is to lean in a little closer, offer up a "personal recommendation," and bat those baby blues.

Just because you can walk into your partner's workplace any time you want doesn't mean you should—would you want him coming to your office and seeing the way you and Tim in marketing behave? Get Used to Graveyard-Ville Kitchens close at 10pm, or later. Bars, in New York at least, stop serving at 4am. Then there's cleanup, debrief on the night's service, prep for the next day. If you workyou will not see each other except on days off, or in the 12 seconds after they get home and before you fall asleep. Deadbeat college kid starts working in kitchens for a buck and gets sucked in to the pressure, graduates from aimless weed-smoker to indiscriminate drug addict and heavy drinker, all the while climbing the ranks to a well-respected executive chef gig.

It's the Great American Success Story, sure, but do you want it dating your little girl? But now, thanks to the Bourdains of the world, more and more young people are responsibly deciding on a Dating a coworker in a restaurant in the kitchen before suffering through all that existential angst, racking up higher education debt just like the rest of us for the chance to put CIA or ICC on their resumes. Here are a few handy facts to throw at your parents if they get on your case about dating a chef: Culinary arts is a legit field of study, with both Associate's and Bachelor's degree programs around the country.

That's on par with counselors and mental health workers, librarians, and journalists. There are more than a dozen food reality shows currently on the air, with more being added every year. Each show features anywhere from four to 40 chefs per season; the odds are better that a chef will end up on reality TV than pretty much any other profession. Nothing wins a parent's heart quicker than the thought of being able to brag to their friends. Be Ready to Drink Terrible Things Bartenders love having a secret handshake, a way to identify themselves in new bars as a member of the club, not just another stool jockey. But the thing about secret handshakes is that they have to be obscure—there's no point in having a clubhouse if any rube outsider can accidentally wander through the door.

Order an old-fashioned liqueur with a taste so vile that no sane person would willingly choose to consume it. Don't think peer pressure still exists once you're past the legal drinking age? Try turning down a shot offered, for free, as honorary membership into the secret fraternity of the person you're trying to take home. You want to be cool, don't you? Play Guess Who You're going to meet your gal for a post-shift drink at a popular chef's hangout. When you get there she's chatting with a dude: You have about 12 seconds to try to figure out: Have you met this dude before?

Or does he just look like a guy you've already met? For the less-than-observant among us, it's always been difficult to peer into a kitchen full of chef's whites and single out any one person, but these days, their after-work style is starting to look more and more like just another uniform. If nobody seems to notice, there's no reason to share. Get on the same page. You and your new partner need to agree on some ground rules and come up with a plan for how you will keep it professional and stay within written or unwritten rules. Stay professional at all times. Advertisement "You may have the burden of overcompensating with professionalism and keeping an artificial distance, which can be an awkward strain," says Taylor.

Be sensitive and respectful to others. Focus on work and do your job — especially if you want to mitigate gossip. Keep things under wraps for a while. Keep love quarrels out of the work fray. Again — nobody wants or needs to know about what's happening with your love life. Don't let disagreements affect your work. This may be one of the hardest rules to follow. What happens at home or in your personal life no matter who you're dating almost always affects your attitudes, which impacts your work — it's just a fact of life.

Advertisement But try your hardest not to let your disagreements with your partner affect the decisions you make or how your treat others at work.

The Outsider's Guide to Dating in the Restaurant Industry

Remain focused on your work. Don't get caught up in long conversations, two-hour lunches, IMing, or emailing with your partner when you should be working on projects or preparing for meetings. Don't spend the whole day texting. Know the formal policy. Check the company handbook to find out if there are any policies related to interoffice relationships. Even if there are no explicit policies against it, find out how upper management feels about office romances. If they're common and happen in your workplace all the time, great. If not, maybe that's something to consider.

Know the potential legal pitfalls. One complaint to HR for PDA, showing preferential treatment, or using words of endearment in public will at the very least trigger an investigation.


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